Growing up with emotionally immature parents can leave deep and confusing wounds. Maybe your parents weren’t physically abusive or overtly neglectful. On the surface, everything may have seemed “fine”—you had food, shelter, and your basic needs met. But underneath, you may have felt alone, emotionally unseen, or responsible for managing your parent’s moods and needs.
At my practice, I help adults untangle the lasting effects of these childhood experiences. If you often feel unsure of yourself in relationships, struggle with self-worth, or carry a deep sense of guilt or shame when setting boundaries, you are not alone.
Emotionally immature parents often struggle with self-regulation, empathy, and perspective-taking. They may be reactive, self-centered, or inconsistent in how they connect with their children. While they may not have had bad intentions, their inability to meet your emotional needs can lead to profound difficulties later in life.
Emotionally immature parents often expect their children to meet their emotional needs, rather than offering emotional support in return. This can show up in ways such as:
- Emotionally distant or unresponsive
- Chronically overwhelmed or unpredictable
- Preoccupied with their own needs, moods, or image
- Unable to validate your feelings or experiences
- Quick to guilt, shame, or manipulate when you tried to assert yourself
The result is often a child who grows into an adult still seeking emotional safety, approval, or connection in all the wrong places.
The emotional fallout of being raised by emotionally immature parents can linger for years. You may find yourself stuck in familiar patterns, such as:
- Struggling to trust your own judgment
- Feeling responsible for others’ emotions
- Becoming the “helper” or “fixer” in relationships
- Fearing conflict or withdrawal when things get hard
- Craving closeness but feeling emotionally distant
- Carrying intense shame, guilt, or self-doubt
You may also find that traditional forms of therapy haven’t always addressed these root issues. That’s because the wound isn’t always about a specific trauma—it’s about what was missing: attunement, validation, healthy modeling.
Many of my clients find deep validation through the work of Dr. Lindsay Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I’m trained in her therapeutic framework, which helps bring clarity and language to experiences that may have long felt confusing, minimized, or hard to name. This approach offers a powerful way to understand the lasting impact of emotional immaturity in parenting.
This model explores common types of emotionally immature parents (e.g., passive, rejecting, driven, or emotional) and how their behavior affects children well into adulthood. Understanding these dynamics can be the first step in releasing self-blame and making space for healthier ways of relating.
Healing is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone. In our work together, we can:
- Identify how these early patterns show up in your relationships and sense of self
- Explore the internalized messages you may have received about your worth
- Learn how to set and hold boundaries without guilt or fear
- Build emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills
- Practice self-compassion and re-parenting techniques
- Grieve the care you didn’t receive—while learning how to give it to yourself
Many of my clients describe therapy as the first relationship where they feel consistently safe, understood, and supported. That kind of environment can be deeply reparative when you were taught early on to be on high alert for rejection, shame, or emotional volatility.
Naming your parent’s emotional immaturity isn’t about blame—it’s about understanding. It’s about recognizing what you needed and didn’t get, so you can stop internalizing the lack as a personal failure.
When we acknowledge the truth of our experience, we make room for healing. We start to shift away from survival mode and toward connection, clarity, and grounded self-leadership.
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